Free Efficient Roadmap For Oak Writing Desk

29 August 2010

The desk itself is perfect for what we wanted: clean and functional design. The packaging, however, was inadequate. The carton had busted during shipping with the result that a couple of pieces had fallen out and two edges were nicked. The construction was simple enough that we could find replacement parts in our stash of screws and knobs, and the nicks weren’t so bad as to warrant the hassle of returning the piece … but really, shipping shouldn’t be all that difficult.

What do you think, please?
This is a very rough draft of a scene of one of my chapters. I would appreciate it if you could look it over and offer any advice on how it flows, and how realistic is sounds. Any tips would be appreciated. Harsh criticism is preferred. Thanks

P.S. the (i) indicate the words are in italics and are thoughts and the dotted lines indicated a character changeI arrive at the front of my house. The familiar jingle of my keys sound as I shove the key in the lock. I then push the heavy wooden door open with my shoulder. The darkness of the house is a familiar sight for me, I blindly grope the wall until I find the switch and flick it on. Two bright lights flicker on, then illuminate the room. As my eyes readjust to the sudden brightness of the room, the familiar sight of the living room greets me. The large black sofa that I spend many a day laying on as I study. The overflowing bookshelves that I borrow from everyday and the large plasma TV that’s rarely used. I head to the table in the narrow hallway near the stairs to check the messages. As I push the red button Oak Writing desk that will play the messages for me, I pick up the mail that Lia has left for me there. The first message is for me, from mom and dad, asking how I’m doing and to let me know that they’ll be back in a month. I decide to call them back tomorrow. Deleting the message I listen to the other two messages, 1 message is for mom and dad and the other is from a telemarketer. Deleting the last one I head up the stairs, mail in hand. Entering my room I drop my bag on the plain, but high quality wood floor, and head for my bed. Kicking off my shoes, I sit on the bed and cross my legs. Going through the mail I notice one addressed to me, opening it I see the letter is from my parents. Setting it aside with the rest of the mail, I get up and head to the shower. Taking a quick shower, I then quickly get dressed for bed and head to the large oak desk beside my bed. Sitting down I start to write a note to Adonia. After finishing the note, I push my chair back and get up from the desk. Heading to the door to grab my bag. I take the ring off my finger and put it safely in the bag. Feeling myself start to fade I close my eyes and surrender. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………Opening my eyes, I quickly glance around. Where am I? Seeing the familiar sight of my room, I straighten. How did I get here? I was last at that public washroom in Central Park. Margaret must have come home after switching with me. Feeling tired all of a sudden I head for the bed, but stop when I get to the desk. A note? Picking it up I glance it over. Adonia I have a big test tomorrow and then after school Sapphire has a photo shoot. Have sweet dreams for me, kay.Giggling at the pain Margaret must have gone through to have written ‘kay’ instead of okay. I set the note down and settle into bed. Closing my eyes, I slowly drift off to sleep. A buzzing sound wakes me up the next morning. I glance over at the table beside my bed 6:30 am flashes back at me from the alarm clock. Pushing the snooze button I roll over to go back to sleep. (i)”Hey, we have to get up now!” (i)”Nnnn, five more minutes.”
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